Arry Potteh and the Horribly Silly Commercials
by Kattan Fan
Summary: Commercials about 'Arry Potteh merchandise!! yay!! Everybody loves 'Arry Potteh!! now who wants a blow-up 'Arry and an incredibly dangerous toy wand? crowd of 'Arry worshipers: "ME ME ME!!" of course they do!! If it says 'Arry on it! There you go!! R&R!!!
1. InstaHarry

DISCLAIMER: 'Arry Potteh doesn't belong to me and neither do his lovely  
little friends!! But you know who is mine?? JOHNNY DEPP!! Mwahahahahaha!!  
But really, any Harry Potter-ish stuff in here is not mine (except for the  
commercials) and was created by J.K. Rowling. God bless that brilliant  
woman!!  
  
~*~  
  
Cheesy Announcer Guy: Do you like Harry Potter?  
Random Teen-Witch: *nods* uh huh!!  
CAG: Do you wish you could tie him to a chair and lock him in your basement  
so you can keep him to yourself and nobody else?  
RTW: *gasp* How did you know!?  
CAG: Can you not seem to find the time to fulfill you're dream?  
RTW: YES!! That's exactly it!!  
CAG: Then I have just the think for you!! *flashes to a shot of a blowup  
doll with Harry's face* INSTAHARRY!  
RTW: *faints from delight*  
CAG: Instaharry starts out as a little bean *little bean flashes across  
screen* and then instantly turns into Harry!! *Says "POOF" and then shows a  
shot of the blowup doll*  
RTW: How does it work?  
CAG: Just add water!  
RTW: Wow! I want my Instaharry!  
CAG: Most things like this would cost $50!! But you can have Instaharry for  
just five easy payments of $9.99!! plus $6 S&H. Just send your money to:  
*address flashes across screen*  
  
Instaharry Productions  
60402 SE Shubalu Road  
Tucson, AZ 87654  
  
Or call:  
*number flashes across screen*  
  
1-800-I-WANT-MY-HARRY  
  
That's 1-800-I-WANT-MY-HARRY  
  
And then you, can tie Harry to a chair.  
*flashes to picture of Instaharry tied to a chair in a basement with a  
crazy girl shouting "you're mine, Harry! All mine!"*  
*fade to black*  
  
A/N: You like? I'll write more if you want!! I want feedback!! And if this  
is popular, I'll post some more commercials from the wonderful world of my  
dearly beloved 'Arry Potteh!! Muah!! 


	2. Hermione's Secret

*sympathetic music plays in the background*  
Witch With Bushy Hair: I used to have dull lifeless hair like yours.  
Witch With Strait Hair: You? But your hair is so beautiful!  
WWBH: I know. But it didn't used to be like that. I too struggled with the  
hassles of having strait hair that you can't do anything with. It was  
terrible.  
WWSH: I know. I can't do anything with my hair. How did you change?  
WWBH: A friend told me about Hermione's Secret.  
WWSH: Hermione's Secret? Is that some kind of expensive salon?  
WWBH: No, it's this shampoo. It has tons of nutrients that add body *show's  
a cartoon of nutrients going into the hair* and give hair new life and  
shine.  
WWSH: *show's WWSH in the shower washing her hair* Yes! Yes! Yes! *show's  
her get out of the shower with a towel around her head. She takes the towel  
off and her hair is like a big afro*  
WWBH: Now you're styling.  
WWST: Thanks Hermione's Secret! I couldn't do anything with my hair before.  
I still can't but now, why would I want to?  
*flashes across screen "sold in a most grocery stores"*  
  
A/N: Hey!! You want more?? Don't worry 'cause there's lots more to come!! 


	3. Get Inside Ron's Head

Woman: Have you ever wondered just what is up with Ron? I know I have. There's just so much about Ron that I just don't understand! That's why I made this movie. Get Inside Ron's Head. It answers all of your questions about this complex character we like to call Ron. This movie includes interviews, pictures, facts, trivia, and lots more about Ron. Here are some examples:  
  
*flashes to an interview between Woman and a girl dressed like a boy with a short red wig and a fake English accent*  
  
Woman: Ron, do you enjoy the game quidditch?  
  
Girl/Ron: It's really cool! Um-I mean- bloody 'ell! It's fantastic!  
  
Woman: I see. What about you a Hermione. What's going on between you two?  
  
Girl/Ron: That's none of your beeswax! Oops! Um- Er. bugger this. I'm out of here.  
  
*flashes to a picture of the movie cover "Get Inside Ron's Head"* Woman: Get it now for only $29.99 plus S&H. And if you order now, you'll get "Get Inside Ron's Head" the book absolutely free if you pay an extra $10.00!!  
  
*Flashes to a book that says "Get Inside Ron's Head" on the cover*  
  
Here's how to order: send check or money to:  
  
Get Inside Ron's Head Inc.  
  
321 NW Shosvery Rd.  
  
New York, NY 99068  
  
Or call:  
  
1-255-3737-RON  
  
that's 1-255-3737-RON  
  
*Flashes across screen "available only through this commercial. Rush delivery available*  
  
A/N: I'd like to get inside Ron's head. hmm. would you like third helpings of this Harry Potter Dessert?? Well, that's what that little button in the bottom left hand corner is for!! Review my friends!! Review!! 


	4. Supermatic FAKE Wand

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Toys 'R' Us!! Boy wouldn't it be fun if I did??  
  
Male Announcer Guy: It's time for fun, fun, fun for all ages, ages, ages!! What can be fun for all ages you ask? Well I'll tell you!! The Supermatic Fake wand!! Now you, can be just like Harry and his friends with this one of a kind wand that allows even muggles to do magic!! It's fun and it's safe too!!  
  
*flashes to a scene of a little girl pointing the wand at an Instaharry doll screaming "ABRACADABRA!!" nothing happens. "HOCUS POCUS!!" nothing happens. She throws the wand at the doll "Stupid toy!" and runs off*  
  
*flashes to a scene of a little boy pointing the wand at things. Everything he points the wand at explodes*  
  
*flashes to a scene of a little boy hopping around saying "Ribbit!" The little boys mom walks in and says "We're not sure what happened but he sure has a lot of fun with it." the little boy catches a fl with his tongue. ".we think."*  
  
*Flashes to a scene of a little girl running around in circles with her sleeve on fire screaming "I'M ON FIRE!!! I'M ON FIRE!!! I'M ON FIRE!!!"*  
  
*flashes to a scene of an old man sitting in a wheelchair at a nursing home with the wand pointed at a TV. "Damn clicker won't work!"*  
  
MAG: Like I said, fun all ages!!  
  
*Flashes across screen "available at a Toys 'R' Us near you!*  
  
A/N: Yay!! I'm having so much fun with these commercials!! I'm never going to stop!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! 


End file.
